'The Kid Who Would Be King' Review

Sorry for the delay on this review as I've been busy with schoolwork and rebranding the site. In fact, I've just recently finished updating the blog for the time being if you'd like to scroll and click around. If you now go to the "Movie Reviews" tab on the right side, you'll see newly designed banners with the brand new Film Assessment logo and the corresponding grade for ALL the films I've reviewed (my earliest reviews don't have grades though). Click on any of those banner images or the blue text above them, and you'll be whisked away to that review. 

In other news, this will be the first review in which I incorporate something new that I'll be including from now one. It's been recommended to me by some parents that I should mention somewhere how appropriate the respective film is for children, etc. The way I've chosen to address that is by adding supplemental information at the beginning of my reviews. I'll include a synopsis, the runtime, the MPAA rating (and why it's rated as such), and a sentence or two about who I feel should/could watch the film. I hope everyone appreciates these changes, but if you don't, you can always skip over that information and dive straight into the review! Also, let me know if you have any recommendations for other things you'd like me to incorporate into my reviews. I'll happily take your idea into consideration.

'The Kid Who Would Be King' Review

Synopsis: Old school magic meets the modern world when young Alex stumbles upon the mythical sword Excalibur. He soon unites his friend and enemies, and they become knights who join forces with the legendary wizard Merlin. Together, they must save mankind from the wicked enchantress Morgana and her army of supernatural warriors.

Runtime: 120 minutes

MPAA Rating: PG (for fantasy action violence, scary images, thematic elements including bullying, and language)

Who should see it? Appropriate for all ages, but young children may be scared by the undead army and Morgana.

Written and directed by Joe Cornish, The Kid Who Would Be King serves as the follow-up to Cornish's feature debut and cult classic Attack the Block. In his second feature, Cornish seeks to put his own spin on a familiar fantasy epic and modernize Arthurian legend for the Brexit generation. While audiences may have seen other modern interpretations of medieval mythology, The Kid Who Would Be King sets itself apart with a wholesome, imaginative approach. All the crucial components of the King Arthur story are present while Cornish also seizes his chance to playfully blend the contemporary setting with magic, medieval weaponry, and so much more! Much of the film's charm stems from Cornish's eccentric approach to visualizing magic. For example, in order for Merlin to conjure a spell, he must perform a series of elaborate hand gestures, claps, and snaps. It's quite silly but utterly hysterical to watch.

Underneath the wacky shenanigans, Cornish's script incorporates plenty of heart and worthwhile lessons for younger audience members though. At its core, The Kid Who Would Be King offers a mature message about facing the harsh truths of reality. The story's admittedly simplistic and often abides by the beat-for-beat hero's journey, but the dialogue demonstrates a self-awareness by referring to Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and Star Wars as prime examples and inspirations. Fortunately, none of the by-the-books storytelling detracts from the film's spirited sense of adventure.

The visual effects can be a bit rough at times, but considering the feature's modest-budgeting, there's at least a consistency to the CGI which compensates for any short-comings. On the bright side, the action scenes are exciting and well-executed. Before I continue, other acknowledgments I'd like to make include praising Bill Pope's polished cinematography, the quaint costuming, personable production design, and a heroic score by Electric Wave Bureau. 

Front and center, the young ensemble amassed by Cornish and his casting department quickly demonstrate their potential as promising up-and-comers. Louis Ashbourne Serkis, son of the motion-capture king Andy Serkis, depicts Alex as equally brave and insecure. Serkis walks the fine line of being a confident hero and an unsure leader when he rallies his knights, exhibiting impressive emotional vulnerability for his age. As Alex's mother, Denise Gough also does a fine job of lending him wisdom and emotional support. Meanwhile, the role of Merlin is shared between the relatively unknown Angus Imrie and veteran actor Patrick Stewart. Stewart only shows up for a few scenes, so Imrie takes ownership of the character's quirky sensibilities which helps sell the inherent silliness of everything. Rounding out the cast as Alex's charming compatriots are Dean Chaumoo, Rhianna Dorris, and Tom Taylor. 

Lastly, Rebecca Ferguson is stuck in the one-dimensional role of the villainess Morgana. Due to minimal screen time and the enchantress' superficial motivations of world domination, Ferguson's Morgana isn't all that impressionable. She's creepy looking on account of the makeup and flurry of dead tree limbs surrounding her, but in actuality, Morgana's not all that menacing since she merely sends minions to do her bidding for the first two-thirds. Fleshing her role out with more compelling motivations and a personality would have greatly enhanced the overall narrative. 

All in all, The Kid Who Would Be King reigns as a fitting family-friendly option which ought to be ruling the box office right now. Unfortunately, the film's fallen on its sword with a rough journey at the multiplex thus far. I'd advise giving the young ruler a hand by pledging fealty with a trip to the theater when you next get the chance.

Film Assessment: B

'The Emoji Movie' Review

The Emoji Movie... was actually released into theaters across the world last Friday...

Let's just take a moment and let that sink in...

According to the dictionary, emojis are classified as small digital icons used to express ideas, emotion, etc. in electronic communication.

An actual movie was made about these...

**Breathe in** (1, 2, 3, 4)

**Hold breath** (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

**Exhale** (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Okay. Now that everyone's calm, we can discuss this "film." I'm sure many of you are wondering why I would put myself through watching this. Well, I received some requests to review it and I simply had to see it after it opened to a 0% Rotten Tomatoes score (it's unfortunately risen to 6%). When this "movie" was announced, I was astounded. Studio executives really resorted to structuring an entire animated movie around emojis... I simply had to see it...

For those who have the fortunate resolve to read all of this, I commend you. The Emoji Movie takes place in Textopolis, the messaging app inside a teen's smartphone. In Textopolis, all the emojis are living entities whose purpose is to give one general expression and be ready for the their inevitable use by the smartphone owner. However, the "Meh" emoji is different because he's able to express many emotions. On Meh's first day working on the phone, he goofs up and ruins the text Alex sent to his crush. Alex notices the glitch so he schedules an appointment to have his phone examined and debugged, putting all the inhabitant's lives at risk for deletion. Facing the threat of deletion, Meh flees with the "Hi-5" emoji to meet Jailbreak, who can hopefully recode Meh once they reach Dropbox. The three then journey to Dropbox for Meh to be recoded properly, Jailbreak to escape into the Cloud, and Hi-5 to be a popular emoji again.

If that plot description sounded contrived, convoluted, and flat-out stupid, that's because The Emoji Movie is all of those things. The movie's core concepts are basically a mixture of Wreck-It Ralph, The LEGO Movie, and Inside Out but The Emoji Movie lacks the charm, intelligence, or heart of any of those three outstanding animated films. You can just tell that a screenwriter was plopped down and forced to develop some semblance of a plot centered around emojis. I don't think that task is impossible, but I certainly don't think it was a good idea either. Now I'll be the first to admit I wasn't sure The LEGO Movie seemed like a good idea either, but that movie succeeded in ways I could have never possibly imagined at the time so I tried my hardest to keep an open mind with The Emoji Movie.

On record, The Emoji Movie was directed by Tony Leondis with a screenplay written by Leondis, Eric Siegel, and Mike White but it's easily apparent The Emoji Movie was studio-made by Sony Pictures Animation. This is clear because of how heavily smartphone apps (ie. Candy Crush, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, and Dropbox) factored into the plot. The Emoji Movie was an outright advertisement for these apps when The Emoji Movie consistently deviated from the story at hand. It was almost like The Emoji Movie had a short attention span comparable to many millennials today. The movie constantly swapped storylines but lacked focus on any of them.

The animation style's substandard, the editing is atrocious, the script is stupid, and the cast was fairly one note. T.J. Miller was appropriately "meh" as Meh, failing to bring any real distinct personality to the character even when we're told this is the most expressive emoji. Anna Faris fell flat as Jailbreak, James Corden's Hi-5 was incredibly obnoxious, and Maya Rudolph's Smiler was just strange. Meh's parents Mel and Mary Meh are voiced by Steven Wright and Jennifer Coolidge and stand to reason as some of the most lifeless characters in cinema. 

Those behind the film even had the audacity to cast Sir Patrick Stewart as the "poop" emoji and an actor who delivered one of the greatest supporting performances of the year in Logan ACCEPTED this?!? WHYYYY?!?!.. Stewart essentially just throws out pitiful poo puns and the entire time you're wondering why this was even necessary... I can't possibly comprehend why he'd want himself attached to this in any way, shape, or form...

At this point, I don't know what else I could possibly express to you via words. I'd love to be able to have something profound to say about The Emoji Movie but I honestly don't. Therefore, I will utilize the emojis at my disposal to rip this thing to shreds. 

Overdramatic Emoji Decryption Review

😐😕😖😡- I think this would accurately describe the progression of my facial expressions throughout this movie's runtime. I was genuinely disinterested, then repulsed at how this stupid ridiculous product placement made it's way to cinemas.

📵📵📵- This movie was so bad that I considered boycotting the use of my own iPhone afterwards.

🔪✂🔌- About a quarter of the way through, I figured cutting the cord to the digital projector seemed like a viable option to just get it to end. On one hand, I might electrocute myself. On the other, I would spare the poor souls in the theater from this cheap soulless cash-grab. Sometimes sacrifice is necessary if the needs of the many outweigh your own.

🔥💩🚽- I don't believe this requires an explanation but yes, explosive diarrhea would be much more enjoyable than watching The Emoji Movie.

🚨❗❌🗑🗑🗑🚨❗❌- Whatever you do, do NOT support this garbage with a vote of confidence at the box office. Literally anything else out would be more worth your time. I think scrolling through all the emojis on your keyboard would be even more entertaining than The Emoji Movie and take far less time. I don't even think kids will like this. It's that bad.

Film Assessment: 🔥💩🚽 (F) 

'Logan' Review

I've held off this review because I wanted to be sure I fully expressed my thoughts and did justice to Hugh Jackman's last ride as Wolverine. Below you may now read my in-depth spoiler-free thoughts on Logan. Some areas of my review may seem a bit vague but that's merely to avoid spoiling the film.

'Logan' Review

Nominated For: Best Adapted Screenplay.

The year is 2029 and mutants are all but extinct. A weary Logan now drives limousines for a living and cares for a senile Charles Xavier near the U.S./Mexican border. When Logan's approached by a mysterious woman to transport a young girl named Laura up north to the U.S./Canadian border and shady government forces close in; Xavier, Logan, and Laura must embark on a riveting road trip in search of safe haven. Logan loosely adapts the acclaimed Old Man Logan storyline and stands as ninth X-feature Jackman's appeared in. To put it simply, Logan is the end of an era. 

Hugh Jackman has held the role of Wolverine for seventeen years now, appearing in just about every X-Men film released since 2000, but Logan marks his final appearance as Wolverine. Returning director James Mangold and star Hugh Jackman aim to finally deliver the great standalone R-rated Wolverine story fans have eagerly hoped to see. Perhaps the greatest thing about Logan is that there's literally nothing holding it back, which can be attributed to Deadpool's shocking box office success last year. There are no restrictions being placed on the action to meet the MPAA's standards for a more commercially viable PG-13 blockbuster and Logan isn't functioning as a launching pad for more stories to follow up on this bookend (with maybe one exception?). 

The action is unabashedly brutal but violence never occurs for the sake of including an awesome action sequence, it's driven by the story and characters. Sure, Wolverine's claws may dismember a few limbs or go straight through a guy's face but the fact Logan doesn't shy away from showing this only lends further credence to the weight brutality like that carries on one's soul. Scott Frank, Michael Green, and director James Mangold tell a personal story first and foremost that doesn't seek to stun viewers with spectacle but rather one that best services the character. 

Logan is the final chapter in Wolverine's longstanding journey and one that intently and appropriately puts all its focus on him. The trio found an ideal tone for Logan, allowing it to be gritty and gruesome but maintain hopeful and heartfelt moments. Logan isn't dark and gritty in some attempt to be cool, rather because the story calls for it. This is the end of the line, not a fresh start or new beginning. The tone Mangold sets is a perfect match for the desolate surroundings he places our heroes in. 

Mangold effectively balances character drama and edge of your seat action as one never outweighs the other, in fact the action is fueled by the narrative and in turn the character's predicaments are more resonant thanks to the ferocious fighting. Logan doesn't short change the camera and stunt work with quick cuts as Mangold seeks to showcase the aggressive action in play with long takes, and I have to give props for the absolute best excuse and use of shaky-cam I've seen used in an action sequence in years! Mangold and cinematographer John Mathieson frame surreal shots lit by earthy hues while editors Michael McCusker and Dirk Westervelt weave it all together to grant the ambiance of Neo-Western. 

I would be remised if I forgot to mention the superb showing from the hair and makeup team for aging up both Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart to look absolutely decrepit (I mean that in the best way possible) and the transformation of Stephen Merchant into the albino mutant Caliban. All the while, Marco Beltrami composes a score full of somber, morose character themes in addition to invigorating, frantic orchestrations that are reflective of Logan's inner conflict and sorrow. 

Hugh Jackman's last portrayal of Logan is easily his best turn yet with Jackman evoking a weary and broken man at the end of his line, all while defining the character's legacy. Jackman has always been perfect for the role but the way he wraps it all up and provides a more multi-faceted, layered performance is truly Oscar worthy. I have rarely spoken of an actor in comic book franchise deserving awards consideration but truly believe Jackman should be in the running for Best Actor in the coming awards season. 

Who knows if 20th Century Fox will choose to pursue that route but I'd love to see them launch an awards campaign for Logan. For those who scoff at that idea, remember Deadpool randomly emerged as a late contender this past awards season picking up plenty of Guild nominations and Best Picture/Best Actor nominations at the Golden Globes. Had Fox been prepared for that outcome, I believe there would have been a stronger awards push and hopefully they see Logan deserves the push. 

Patrick Stewart also gets to push the boundaries of his typical straight-faced Professor X as he puts forth one last spin in his automated wheelchair, characterizing Xavier quite differently than the wise kindred mentor we've grown accustomed to seeing. Stewart gets to be funny, compromised, and more emotionally resonant thanks to Logan's screenplay. Seeing Stewart and Jackman together one last time was rewarding in and of itself but even with a shifting dynamic, they still stand well opposite one another. 

I didn't think it was possible for anyone to match Jackman's spite and ferocity as Wolverine but Dafoe Keen captures all that and much more as Laura, or X-23 as comic fans may be more familiar with. The bond she and Jackman share is truly the emotional core of Logan and their scenes together made me smile, laugh hysterically, and cry a stream of tears. Stephen Merchant is a nice inclusion as Caliban, bringing humor and levity in some cases while stepping up to the tasks set out for him by the screenplay. 

Boyd Holbrook's Donald Pierce matches Jackman as an unsavory foe but takes a back seat to Richard Grant's evil scientist Tim Rice in the film's second half. The two are servicable antagonists but their lacking malevolence actually doesn't stand out as one of Logan's weaknesses, purely because this film is concentrated on Logan not what he's up against. 

While I can't quite condone bringing a child to see Logan due to graphic violence and lots of swearing, for ages 17 and up I highly recommend a trip to the multiplex. If you're a fan of Wolverine and Hugh Jackman's take on the character in particular, then Logan is a must see. Logan is the ultimate swan song for Hugh Jackman's seventeen year stint as the berserker rage filled mutant, a gruesome yet sentimental send-off that I'd say is one of the best comic book films I've ever seen. 

Film Assessment: A+