'Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets' Review

In Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, civilizations throughout the universe have joined together to amass Alpha, a space station metropolis housing species from a thousand planets. When an unfathomable threat emerges, intergalactic operatives Valerian and Laureline are tasked with unraveling the impending ultimatum in order to ensure the safety and well-being of Alpha and the universe-at-large. 

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is written and helmed by French visionary director Lucy Besson as an effort to adapt the long-running Franco-Belgian comic Valérian et Laureline into a feature length film. I was astounded to see Besson succeed in making one of the summer's most unique entires, but in the weirdest way possible. I'm not quite sure how Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is going to be received by mass audiences because even I constantly found myself at odds about whether I should be in awe at the wonderful world building and stunning spectacle on display or be appalled by the sloppy storytelling, dreadful dialogue, and lackluster leads. I chose the latter.

Besson's brain was clearly brimming with endless ideas on how he should translate the expansive universe and the amount of awe-inspiring aesthetics brought to the big screen are simply astounding. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets looks remarkable from start-to-finish, even though the vfx team are unable to compromise on authentically-rendered aliens and environments. The psychedelic setting is pretty on the eyes but it's distinctly a digital creation as opposed to an entirely immersive experience. The endless ingenuity and competently constructed CG-effects are what will get audiences on board this journey, but viewers may want to eject when they see what else Besson has in store for them. 

The narrative of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets follows a cyclical flow and in the second act loses the little momentum it had built from the start as story beats grow increasingly more repetitive to an obnoxious extent. There were a series of side quests that felt irrelevant to the grand overarching plot and these detours are quite taxing on the viewer as I steadily lost all interest in the events. These intrusions are clearly around as an excuse for Besson to explore this expansive world he's created and while that's the most interesting aspect of the movie, I wish he had found a better alternative to interweave these environments into the story. 

Besson's script also seems desperate to extract a few laughs with obvious pauses between lines of dialogue but none of the zingers land. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is unfunny to such an absurd extent that I find it difficult to believe anyone would have laughed at a single one-liner catered to the audience. It doesn't help that the dialogue presented is dreadfully cliché either. 

However, the film's more pressing problem is it's lead actors. Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevigne have absolutely no sparks flying between them so I was never able to buy into that romance that's supposed to be driving the story forward. The chemistry's simply not there and the dynamic seems contrived. Instead audiences are treated with deadpan dialogue delivery from both actors who put up cold, calculating fronts in direct opposition to the cool, charming characters on paper. DeHaan and Delevigne can't help but feel miscast in their respective roles. Based on the dialogue, Valerian's supposed to carry a roguish charm but DeHaan's unable to muster that and Laureline's a resilient intellectual but Delevigne never comes across as tough as the character's intended.

Oh yeah, and Rihanna's in this also! But you probably already knew that since she's in nearly all the trailers and posters put out by the studio. It's one of the oddest additions to the movie as Rihanna's shapeshifting blob Bubble enters and leaves the story in a whirlwind that leaves you thinking "Wow! That was woefully convenient." She's got an exotic appearance as eye-candy for a bit and then embarks on a short-lived adventure to be forgotten mere moments later. Esteemed actors like Ethan Hawke and Clive Owen can also be found among the cast and they fill their roles with the required attributes but neither left a lasting impression.

If you don't care about story or character, then Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is worth the price of admission for the arresting images and brilliantly-built backdrops alone. However, I'd personally say a ticket to War for the Planet of the Apes or Spider-Man: Homecoming would be more deserving of your time and money. I haven't yet seen Dunkirk so I can't make a whole-hearted endorsement there, but I plan on seeing it twice this weekend to check it out in both 70MM and IMAX formats so I can advise viewers on the ultimate experience. When all is said-and-done though, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets winds up bearing the resemblance of a soulless, superficial special effects reel rather than stepping into the shoes of a spectacular space opera. 

Film Assessment: D