'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales' Review

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales charts a new course for the spirited swashbucklers by steering the franchise closer to its humble beginnings. Dead Men Tell No Tales follows the adventures of Henry Turner, son of Elizabeth and Will Turner, as he searches for a means to free his father from his cursed fate. Turner then enlists the help of astute astronomer Carina Smyth and disreputable drunk Jack Sparrow to embark on a quest and find the treasured Trident of Poseidon, an artifact said to grant the wielder complete control of the seas with the power to break any curse. In the midst of all this, a vengeful Spanish specter Captain Salazar escapes the Devil's Triangle with an army of apparitions and a particularly unpleasant ambition. 

Dead Men Tell No Tales is the fifth entry to the Pirates franchise and after Curse of the Black Pearl, the savvy seafarers have landed ashore from their their subsequent plunders with receding riches among their treasure trove. Despite the diminishing returns of the succeeding ventures, I still manage to let loose a hardy "Yo-ho!" anytime Curse of the Black Pearl, Dead Man's Chest, or At World's End sail my way because that original trilogy knew how to handle the cultivating crew. However, On Stranger Tides waded into unfamiliar waters in hopes of extending the franchise only to meet a rocky reception and nearly sink the ship. 

Thankfully, all hands were called on deck so Norwegian co-directors Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg were able to save Disney's lucrative vessel just when I thought these pirates were about to walk the plank and abandon ship. Rønning and Sandberg ensure that everything encountered along the voyage looks and sounds tremendous, harkening back to the strange, supernatural elements Verbinski interposed into his own swashbuckling stories. 

For starters, every orchestral score in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has sounded exceptional, regardless of the film's quality, and this entry is no exception. Though Hans Zimmer abandoned ship and the score includes a number of familiar sea shanties, composer Geoff Zanelli proudly waves the Jolly Roger in his deconstruction & reconstruction of the pivotal Pirates themes. Elsewhere, the hair & makeup team alongside the commendable costuming crew continue to impress, despite dressing the cast in the usual pirate garb. I'm sure it must be a huge ordeal to ensure each pirate has the distinct and adequate attire, so the simple fact that each cast member looks great is enough for me to tip my hat to those members of the crew!

The vfx artists and production designers prove to be no land lubbers either, considering they are able to craft an authentic tropical background that these rum-smitten sailors can inhabit. The film looked leagues better than On Stranger Tides from start-to-finish and bolstered an awesome, unabridged aspect ratio in IMAX that further enraptured me. On the flip side, I was a bit worried about the look for Salazar and his ghastly crew judging from the trailers. Fortunately, my concerns were ill-suited because the dastardly Spanish crew looked exceptional thanks to a mix of profound practical prosthetics and illustrious CG-effects.

**Spoiler warning in case you somehow haven't seen any of these movies I'm about to mention**

Other technical accomplishments to note include Disney's alarming ability to de-age actors lately. You may have noticed this in various Marvel Studios entries including Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 that all featured brief scenes with a younger version of a prominent character (Hank Pym, Tony Stark, and Ego respectively).

**End of spoilers**

I previously haven't brought this up in any reviews because each of those occurrences were well under-wraps and I was avoiding spoilers. However, Disney has put this de-aged Jack Sparrow front and center in their marketing material so I think it's safe to talk about it. While I don't think there has been a misstep yet, I'd place the de-aged Sparrow among the upper escalate of examples because he's onscreen longer and maintained the authenticity throughout. It's truly incredible that technology has come this far that studios can now effectively de-age an actor and practically bring a deceased one back to the big screen (in the case of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story).

On the other hand, Dead Men Tell No Tales doesn't play out nearly as well on paper. Jeff Nathanson penned the seadog's screenplay and does an adequate job finding a means for the story to carry onward but the plot's riddled with meaningless side-quests involving extraneous characters. Dead Men Tell No Tales could have easily had the shortest running time in the series if Nathanson had thought to throw out a few of these meandering plot lines and insignificant characters. On top of that, the story basically follows this ridiculously repetitive pattern of [interchangeable character] is captured and [interchangeable character] is free. There were a number of clear comedic attempts that fell flat or pandered primarily to children, in quite a few of these instances absolutely nobody in my theater even chuckled. The dialogue is what failed to elicit a response most of the time and Sparrow's schtick hasn't completely worn off because some of the situational humor works quite well! 

Even when Dead Men Tell No Tales sails around in storytelling circles, there's an adequate level of enjoyment to be had. A bank heist at the film's outset literally gives the one featured prominently in Fast Five a run for its money and there's some zombie sharks in the second act that were particularly cool. Dead Men Tell No Tales has all the outlandish, outrageous pirate escapades you were missing in On Stranger Tides but very few of them are on par with the set pieces concocted by Verbinski.

If you're a stickler for continuity, Dead Men Tell No Tales will raise some serious concerns regarding its well-traversed story routes, pirates lore, and the mythical side of the Pirates universe but these things may sail away completely unnoticed by casual Caribbean tourists. Dead Men Tell No Tales somehow managed to simultaneously feel the furthest removed and most interwoven of the Pirates films thus far and I'm lost for words at how that was even possible. There are a number of cameo appearances that I found amusing and worth mentioning, but you may already know about them thanks to the film's marketing so they aren't exactly surprises. 

Meanwhile, Johnny Depp's performance as Captain Jack Sparrow has definitely improved from his turn in On Stranger Tides. He's no longer the lead so he doesn't have as much weight on his shoulders and is able to let loose as a supporting character again. Depp will never not be a great Jack Sparrow, but he's as kooky caricature once more. Nathanson unintentionally set up an interesting arc for Sparrow regarding his fall from grace but Depp never gets to tackle the underlying emotional vulnerability I was hopeful to see because he's too busy parading around for laughs. I'm doubtful Depp and the Caribbean's creative forces will ever be able to recapture the restrained, comedic brilliance of his debut but anything's possible. 

Filling out the crew, Brenton Thwaites and Kaya Scodelario are thrown out into the seven seas with hopes they would be able to recapture the Bloom/Knightley pairing from the original trilogy. While they come closer than the last feeble attempt, the two simply don't have the spark. Thwaites is a serviceable plucky lad and Scodelario plays the adept academic to a tee. Both are fine in their respective roles but neither were able to carry the weight required to completely fill the void left by Will Turner/Elizabeth Swann.

However, Javier Bardem oozes the appropriate amount of menace as Spaniard spirit Captain Salazar and stood out as the best baddie this franchise has seen in some time. Bardem wasn't given much to work with but he successfully elevated his character and projected a huge screen presence as you'd suspect an Oscar winner would. Geoffrey Rush also goes all in with his rotten, roguish portrayal of Captain Barbossa and Kevin McNally makes for a nice addition as dedicated first mate Gibbs.

When it comes down to my Memorial Day movie recommendation, it really depends on what you as a viewer would like to watch. If you want to see a gallivanting, enjoyable romp across the sea, go see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. Crude comedy? Baywatch. Suspenseful sci-fi? Alien: Covenant. Out-of-this-world superhero story? Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. You can't really go wrong with any of those options provided you're seeking that specific source of entertainment. Otherwise, keep your eyes peeled to the WONDER-ful horizon. I guarantee if you feel lost in the summer sea of blockbusters, you'll be shouting "Land, ho!" next weekend.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is being billed as the "final adventure" but with a post credit scene offering a titillating tease for a sixth installment and the insane international business these pirates manage, I can't help but feel there will be a few more adventures for Captain Jack on the horizon. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales offers plenty of reasons to raise the Jolly Roger thanks to its capable cast, refreshing tropical visuals, elaborate action set pieces, and another sea-spirited score. Dead Men Tell No Tales is by no means the optimal expedition but it was reassuring to see Jack Sparrow and his merry band of marauders change course.

Film Assessment: C+